Author Topic: What A Joke!  (Read 125173 times)

Offline 7thfort

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #525 on: November 14, 2021, 01:10:00 PM »
The US has apologised to France and will likely bring them into AUKUS. 

Australia will be replaced and so the new alliance will then be known as FUKUS.…

If Australia stays, then it becomes FUK-USA.

If Canada joins, it will be known as CAN-FUK-USA.

If India joins, it becomes I-CAN-FUK-USA.

Offline mikench

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #526 on: November 19, 2021, 11:35:18 AM »
When I get home I always ask my dog how his day was. And he always gives me the same answer.

RUFF!

Offline 7thfort

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #527 on: December 28, 2021, 01:00:42 PM »
A man was taken to court for calling an Honourable Minister a pig.

It was his first offence and the Judge was in a good mood and decided to show mercy.

So he discharged him after warning him to desist from unguarded utterances in future.

The man removed his cap and thanked the benevolent Judge profusely. ''Thank you, your lordship."

He continued. "Honestly sir, I didn't know it was wrong to call an Honourable Minister a pig. I won't do it again. I am sorry.''

''It's okay.'' Said the Judge. ''You may go.''

''My lord, may I ask a question, sir?''

''Feel free.'' Answered the Judge.

''Now I know it's wrong to call an Honourable Minister a pig, but is it also wrong to call a pig Honourable Minister?''

Amused, the Judge replied. ''I don't know why you would want to address a pig as Minister. But I don't think the pig would mind. Anyway, it's not unlawful by the way. Yes, you may call any pig Honourable Minister.''

The man smiled and nodded, then he turned to look pointedly at the Minister and said. ''Goodbye, Honourable minister😂

Offline Enkidu

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #528 on: January 01, 2022, 03:38:30 PM »
Question: Why Santa does not have kids??

Answer: Because he comes only once every year....

Happy New Year everyone...


Sent from my SM-N935F using Tapatalk


Offline jf98

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #529 on: February 21, 2022, 02:42:09 PM »
Potato Field

An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.

Dear Fred,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over I know you would dig the plot for me.
Love,
Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES!
Love,
Fred

At 4am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love,
Fred

This one is very sweet!

Offline 7thfort

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #530 on: January 24, 2023, 01:56:53 PM »
A man goes home after being fired from his job at a chips factory

Wife is surprised because the man was employee of the month for 10 months in a row.

She asks "What happened?"

"I got fired for putting my dick in the potato cutter. It's been a dream of mine, and I couldn't resist it anymore", the man replied.

The wife, even more surprised after hearing what happened, asked if everything is okay with his dick.

"Yes everything is fine with the dick", he replied.

"What about the potato cutter?" she asked.

"She got fired as well."

Offline 7thfort

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #531 on: January 24, 2023, 02:02:37 PM »
The 4 hour erection...

I went to a chemist store and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.

The woman I spoke to said she was the only pharmacist and since she and her sister owned the store, there were no male employees.

She asked if she could help me.

I said that I really would have preferred to speak with a male pharmacist. She assured me that she was completely professional and whatever it was that I needed to discuss, I could be confident that she would treat me with a high level of professionalism.

I reluctantly agreed and began by saying, "As a shy man, this is tough for me to discuss, but here goes. I get erections every day that last more than four hours. This condition causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it."

The pharmacist said, "Just a minute, I'll talk to my sister."

When she returned, she said, "We discussed it at length and this is the absolute best we can do:

    * 1/3rd ownership in the store
    * a company car
    * A furnished house
    * a king size bed and
    * RM10,000 a month in living expenses

Offline 7thfort

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #532 on: January 24, 2023, 02:32:02 PM »
A man returned from work late one night and headed straight to his bedroom & made love to his wife.

When he was done, he went to the kitchen for some water only to find his wife already there, looking for something in the fridge.

He asked his wife how she got to the kitchen so quickly when they had just finished making love.

His wife screamed: "WHAT.....WHAT LOVE?!!! That was my sister in the bedroom! She was tired when she arrived so I let her sleep in our room since you were going to be late."

Pissed off, she ran to the bedroom and asked her sister why didn't she say anything while her husband was making love to her.

Her sister replied: "You know that your husband and I are not on talking terms!"

Offline 7thfort

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #533 on: January 24, 2023, 02:36:45 PM »
A Female Professor was invited for a lecture and the topic she chose to talk about was polygamy.

She talked on the benefits of polygamy, why women should embrace it and support their husbands towards achieving it.

As she kept emphasising on this topic, a lady from the audience raised her hand, stood up and introduced herself before speaking.

Lady: "Professor, I really appreciate this topic because I am relieved of my fear. I never knew you are this simple and understanding. Your message has given me the opportunity to open up to you,"

She cleared her throat and continued....

"I have been married to your husband for the past four years, and between us, we have a set of twins "

To the greatest surprise of all in the hall, the Professor slumped, fainted and was rushed to the hospital.

After she was revived, she opened her eyes to see same lady standing by her bedside.

Lady: Professor I have never set my eyes on your husband, I don't even know him, I said this to test you and you failed. Next time, please lecture on subjects that you understand.