Author Topic: What A Joke!  (Read 82218 times)

Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #475 on: December 25, 2016, 06:46:04 PM »



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Offline 7thfort

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #476 on: February 13, 2017, 10:59:48 AM »
Astrologer : Do you want to know about your husband's  future?

Wife : Rubbish, I will decide his future! You just tell me his past.

Offline 7thfort

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #477 on: February 13, 2017, 11:01:26 AM »
I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live.

So I shot him.

The judge gave me 30 years

Offline 7thfort

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #478 on: March 24, 2017, 11:43:48 AM »
Spiritual Quote for the day.

It is better to sit in a bar thinking about God than to sit in a temple thinking about whisky.

Offline 7thfort

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #479 on: March 24, 2017, 11:45:54 AM »
Reading a sad book

Wife - what are you doing dear?
Husband - I am reading a book
Wife - But why are you crying
Husband - Ending of this book is very sad
Wife - Huh .. what is the name of the book?
Husband - My savings book

Offline 7thfort

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #480 on: March 24, 2017, 11:48:28 AM »
Why do men wear underwear?

Answer - As per military rules, all types of weapons should be kept covered during peace time

Why do women wear panty?

Answer - Because state law says all man-holes must be covered when not in use

Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #481 on: April 03, 2017, 10:12:10 AM »
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Offline D'Andy

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #482 on: April 07, 2017, 09:05:10 AM »
Early this morning...

Student : Teacher, Miko climbed the fence just now.
Teacher : I will punish him later.
Student : Teacher would you punish me for something that I didn't do?
Teacher : Of course not.
Student : Great, I didn't do yesterday's homework.

 :Laughing_on_floor:
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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #483 on: April 07, 2017, 09:40:13 AM »
An MP was blackmailed via Whatsapp:

A member of Parliament received a threatening message via Whatsapp which read: "Remember me? We slept together. I have the video. Transfer MYR 250,000.000 to account xxxxxxxxxx bank XYZ. Don't report to the police or I will send the video to the media!"

The MP was scared as transferred the money as requested. After the transfer he asked via WA, "Who are you and when did we sleep together?"

In 5 minutes he got an answer: "I'm an MP to and we both slept during the Parliamentary session..."
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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #484 on: April 21, 2017, 08:38:04 AM »
A flight is on its way to Sydney, when a blonde in economy class gets up, moves to the first class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket. She then informs the blonde that she has only paid for economy class, and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here.”

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo who has an economy ticket but is sitting in first class, and won’t move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy, she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Sydney and I’m staying right here.”

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, “You say she is a blonde? I’ll handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.”

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she then says, “Oh, I’m sorry” and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

The pilot replies, “I told her that first class isn’t going to Sydney.
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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #485 on: May 30, 2017, 06:57:35 AM »
Psychology 101

A practical session in the psychology class.

The proffessor showed a large cage with a male rat in it.

The rat was in the middle of the cage.

Then, the professor kept a piece of cake on one side and kept a female rat on the other side.

The male rat ran towards the cake and ate it.

Then, the professor changed the cake and replaced it with some bread.

The male rat ran towards the bread.

This experiment went on with the professor changing the food every time.

And, every time, the male rat ran towards the food item and never towards the female rat.

Professor said: This experiment shows that food is the greatest strength and attraction.

Then, one of the students from the back rows said:

"Sir, why don't you change the female rat?This one may be his wife...!!! "



The professor stood straight up his finger pointing towards the student and said "You got an A."


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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #486 on: June 06, 2017, 10:33:20 AM »
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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #487 on: June 22, 2017, 06:22:06 AM »
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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #488 on: July 11, 2017, 05:12:24 PM »



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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #489 on: July 25, 2017, 06:00:17 AM »
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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #490 on: August 02, 2017, 08:34:26 AM »
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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #491 on: August 16, 2017, 08:06:53 AM »
I have  decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.


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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #492 on: September 15, 2017, 09:19:01 PM »



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Offline dualcarb

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #493 on: September 16, 2017, 07:51:01 AM »

Offline D'Andy

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #494 on: September 19, 2017, 08:36:36 AM »
If you don't understand that joke, Dualcarb, you are either an angel or a virgin, or both  :Laughing_on_floor:
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Offline dualcarb

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #495 on: September 19, 2017, 02:38:30 PM »
If you don't understand that joke, Dualcarb, you are either an angel or a virgin, or both  :Laughing_on_floor:
It was a smiley, but for some strange reason, it came out as question marks...

Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #496 on: September 19, 2017, 05:36:28 PM »
If you don't understand that joke, Dualcarb, you are either an angel or a virgin, or both  :Laughing_on_floor:
It was a smiley, but for some strange reason, it came out as question marks...
Good thing you clarified that point. I was at a lost how best to explain the joke to you hahaha


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Offline D'Andy

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #497 on: September 20, 2017, 08:38:37 AM »
Good thing you clarified that point. I was at a lost how best to explain the joke to you hahaha

I think his question marks in itself, was reason enough as a joke by itself  :Laughing_on_floor:
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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #498 on: October 02, 2017, 08:21:29 PM »
Police officer: “Sir I don’t understand. You lost the credit card a year ago why are you reporting it now?”
Guy: “The thief wasn’t spending nearly as much as my wife used to.”
Police officer: “But why report it now?”
Guy: “I think the thiefs wife must have got hold of it now."


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Offline meoramri

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Re: What A Joke!
« Reply #499 on: October 12, 2017, 09:23:22 AM »
The boy who won the 1st prize in the Fancy dress competition.
'I argued with my wife'




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